♪ 'Cause, baby, I could build a castle
Out of
all the bricks they threw at me ♪
One night we were sitting there like normal, and I looked over
at you and said, "One of these days I'm going to write a blog about you. You just
wait!" At the time I thought it would be about something exciting and fun.
I thought it might be about our adventures together in Topeka or maybe something
cute that you did for me. To quote one of my favorite musicians: “I used to
think one day we’d tell the story of us, how we met and the sparks flew
instantly.” But little did I
know, I would be writing this without you in my life. With you becoming a
complete stranger. As if nothing had ever even happened between us.
Taylor Swift recently released her 1989 album and on the deluxe Target edition there are three extra
bonus songs. The last song is called “New Romantics” and like all of her songs, it just speaks
to me.
When it comes to guys, life has thrown quite a few curve balls
my way. I've laughed, I've cried, I've been pissed off, I've been filled with
excitement, as well as extreme disappointment. I've experienced just about every emotion imaginable due to these guys.
I've been thrown brick after brick and I could, without a doubt,
build a pretty immaculate castle. At the time when those bricks were hitting,
it was some of the worst days
and I didn't understand. I went through months of depression. I felt defeated
and like nothing could possibly go right for me. There were times I wasn't even
hungry. I would go days without hardly even eating. All I could think about was
"Why me?" "Why does this have to happen again?" "When
will I catch a break?"
These last couple of months have been no different. I'm in a new
city, at a new job, and meeting new guys. It isn't the same as it was in
college. I've had new experiences I never imagined would ever happen. But then
those bricks still seem to hit me.
Taylor writes in the chorus:
"Baby,
we're the new romantics
Come
on, come along with me
Heart
break is the national anthem
We sing
it proudly
We are
too busy dancing
To get
knocked off our feet
Baby,
we're the new romantics
The
best people in life are free"
This just confirms to me, that life isn't going to be the fairy tale I've always dreamed of. Times are going to be rough and it'll take a
while before I find my future husband. I need to experience all of these bricks.
Because through these experiences, I'm going to come out of it better. I might
as well just live my life freely and take the bricks as they come. Just keep
building. Just keep dancing.
And although it's never worked out with any of them, every
single one of these guys has changed me in one way or another. From gaining
confidence in myself to giving myself a voice. Knowing I don’t have to make him
a sandwich or fall into female stereotypes to make him happy. Knowing I don’t need a guy to rescue me. To
make me happy. So instead of being hurt or bitter or upset with these guys for giving me the
bricks to build my castle, I instead need to be thanking them. So thank you, to
each and every one of you. Whether you
added one brick or a hundred bricks, you made me a castle I can love and dance
in and be Free.
Until next time,
The Chronicles of Kirsten Continues
